No one has any gawddamned sense anymore, it’s a National Crisis
YOU KNEW THIS WASN’T GOING TO END WELL FROM THE GET GO
J. Howard Marshall and Anna Nicole Smith
Houston: When J. Howard Marshall’s children finally opened their eyes and realized that Juan, J. Howard’s driver was taking J. Howard to an ATM, and they were hitting a tit bar nightly it was already too late. They’d been shopping at the Galleria and dating supermodels themselves, didn’t have time for dear old dad, yes, he was hell in his day but now THEY believed he was too old for shenanigans.
Much like the Trump children, except they didn’t wake up to the White House, the Marshall kids, already in their sixties and seventies, woke up to Anna Nicole as their stepmother. Exactly like the shock felt at the election of Donald Trump.
If this photo sort of creeps you out. Stay with me.
What happens next is Anna Nicole (the White House) is stuck with J. Howard for FOUR YEARS in which time it all gets messed up. Hell, J. Howard’s in the ground, so’s Anna and lawyers still make money off this sh*t. ALL BECAUSE THE KIDS WOULDN’T GAWDDAMNED VISIT.
Viagra, cash money, credit card limit too high, no tracker on phone.
NO ONE THOUGHT IT WOULD GO THIS FAR.
But it did. No one in Houston thought even Anna Nicole would marry an old man with a comb over, now we elected one.
Like Melania, the Marshall children decided to “ignore it, ignore it, ignore it”, you don’t have to be an expert in politics or family dynamics to see what’s up here. Fake news? What the hell about this isn’t fake?
The man wears bobby pins but controls money so it’s all real and ok?
You know when things make you feel creepy or not right.
Miley Cyrus and her dad on cover of Vogue just wrong
wrong, oh, so wrong
The Marshalls reputations were ruined forever, the “Legacy” was flat fu*ked and if there was anything they didn’t want, just like the Trumps was to become the laughing stock of the entire universe, or just Texas, which IS THE UNIVERSE. No one from Hedonia will date you anymore and you’re just down to trailer trash tacky. On the upside, there’s a gay opera about you in San Francisco, documentaries, and Lifetime Movies. Like our future with the Trump Saga.
As with Donald Trump this won’t end well, everyone will be overdressed for the events and when he’s gone, they’ll get rid of that gold sh*t everywhere first thing.
Anna Nicole on the sad day of the funeral of J. Howard Marshall her adoring husband and could be YOUR daddy if you aren’t careful so wake the hell up.
They are telling you what’s real and fake and they are cartoon characters.
If she wasn’t Ivanna Trump she’d be one of the “Faces of Walmart” come on.
At least J. Howard Marshall knew the difference between “fake news” and “fake boobs.”
You also know that it’s just not going to end well.
At the same time you’re happy you don’t have to deal with that damned FAKE HOWARD STERN anymore. Speaking of creepy.
Fake Howard Stern REAL HOWARD STERN
Dannielynn Birkhead, daughter of Anna Nicole Smith